Even More Confessions of a (no longer newly called) Relief Society President

I've written two posts on this blog since becoming the Relief Society President in my ward.

Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President

and

More Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President

Every so often I get curious and I check the stats of this blog and what I am shocked at each time is how many hits those two posts get, how often they are shared and what search questions lead readers to those posts. Search questions such as "Overwhelmed Relief Society President", "How do I be a good Relief Society President", "Helps for Relief Society Presidents", "New Relief Society President needs help"...the list goes on. Somehow typing those questions into a search bar leads them to these two posts on my blog.

I want to write more but here's the thing...I NEED THOSE SAME HELPS MYSELF!! How can I write a post of encouragement and support when I'm sitting in the same circle with all of those who need help from someone who knows?

So I want to ask some questions...

*Does the busyness of this calling sometimes come in waves? (Sometimes Tsunami waves?)

*Do you love it when you see the sisters in your ward supporting each other and loving each other and you think, "Oh this is wonderful!"

*Visiting Teaching? (I think I can leave that at just those two words and you'll get it.)

*Just when you think you have some situation under control, does it suddenly blow up again?

*Do your kids hate your phone? (Because you are always on the phone)

*Do you love sharing your testimony with the Sisters and feeling the love of our Father in Heaven flow through you to them?

*Are you sometimes amazed at the ideas the Holy Ghost gives to you and you know they aren't from you and you are so grateful?

*Are you amazed at how clueless you can be about what to do sometimes?

*Do you want to stand up and shout for joy when you see a sister who hasn't been to church in a very long time walk through the chapel doors?

*Do you go through weeks when you hear of sad situations in your ward every day and you can't help but just sit down and cry and plead with our Father in Heaven to bless those dear sisters and help you know how to help?

*Do you struggle to set appropriate boundaries?

*Do you call the temple to put names on the prayer roll more than you ever have before?

*Do you sometimes wonder what in the world the Lord was thinking when He called you?

*Have you been more aware of your weaknesses than ever before?

*Are you so grateful for good and talented counselors who have great ideas and you are glad they share those ideas?

*Do you want to depend more on your counselors but sometimes you just don't know how and they have busy lives and their own trials too?

*Do you sometimes feel like you are drowning in all of the varied and differing responsibilities that rest on your shoulders?

*Do you wish, with all of your heart, that you could respond to every distress call your heart detects but you just can't, so you turn to the visiting teachers and hope they do?

*Do you wonder how your Bishop is able to take care of a whole ward when you sometimes feel overwhelmed just taking care of the women?

*Are you so touched by how giving the women in your ward can be?

*Are you amazed at the many different talents the women in your ward have and you want to find a way to let them all use their talents and be more involved in each others lives?

*Are you also amazed at the talented women around you and know the ward is filled with smart, wise, spiritual women who would all do a wonderful job as the Relief Society President and you are humbled that at this time it is you?

*Do you absolutely love the time you get to spend with just your family and you see even more clearly now why it is so important to teach them the Gospel of Jesus Christ and love them and forgive them and remember that your most important calling is to be a wife and a mother?

*Do you find that you are more able to handle whatever may come if you read the scriptures every day, pray several times a day and keep yourself away from many of the world's distractions?

*Do you know that you will be a safe place for some women to vent their heartaches and frustrations and sometimes that includes taking out their frustrations on you and you needn't take it personally, just love them. (Although you don't need to allow yourself to be abused. That is an important boundary to set.)

*Do you know that you will never be everything to everyone and the mistakes you make will always be pointed out much more than the successes you have?

*Do you know you aren't perfect but you are doing your best and you realize that is all you can do and that is all the Lord expects of you and so you square your shoulders and keep moving forward?

*Do you need the Savior every moment of every day?

 *Do you know He is with you? Do you know He is giving you this opportunity at this time to help others but, even more so, because He knows how much you need this growing experience. When you look at that picture of Him, does it feel as if you are looking at your best friend, someone who knows you better than anyone else and still loves you? He keeps loving you and He keeps healing you and forgiving you and raising you higher. He keeps reminding you that He loves you so much, no matter what. Are you so very honored to be on His errand and in His service and part of His Relief Society?

This song seems to fit perfectly here:



* Do you just want to help the women of your ward to grow closer to Jesus Christ because you know you can't solve their problems or heal their hearts and homes? You know that only He can.

*Do you know that everything will be okay?

I hope you do...because it will.

This life is so short compared to our eternal existence. If we learn as much as we can right now, someday, off into the eternities, we will each look back at these experiences and know that our Father knew exactly what He was doing and we will be so grateful.

Right now it is our turn to be the Relief Society President in our individual wards. We have each had different callings before this one and we will each have different callings after this one. In actuality, the specific calling isn't as important to our Father in Heaven, as is the lessons we learn. Because within each calling and other learning experiences that are given to us are opportunities for our rough edges to be smoothed over and our impurities to be purged out and for us to become more like our wonderful elder brother Jesus.

Each calling and each opportunity we have is designed by a loving Father to lead us Home to Him. That is what it is all about - going Home and helping as many of our brothers and sisters as possible to get back there too.

What this is all about is LOVE.
Truly, that's what it is about.

What I'm trying to say with all of this is...we can be faithful, spiritual, righteous, loving and dedicated Relief Society Presidents AND still have hard days and struggles and make mistakes and feel inadequate and desperately need Jesus Christ in every moment! We are not alone. We have each other and we have the Creator of the Universe on our side. I welcome any and all comments - from those who are struggling and from those who are not. These issues are not reserved only for Relief Society Presidents - every calling and assignment has similar challenges - especially that greatest of all callings and assignments...parenthood!

I don't know who will read this but my prayer is that you will know you are wonderful and doing a fabulous job and the Lord knew exactly what He was doing when He called you!

Once again...everything is going to be OK!

More Confessions of a Kinda Newly Called Relief Society President

I was reading my post entitled "Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President" and WOW I was exhausted trying to sift through the craziness of that post! A lot of people have read that post and I'm wondering if you all had to take a nap afterwards?! But it was very authentic because that is how my brain was at that time - overwhelmed!

Now I'm 6 months into the calling and, well, I'm still overwhelmed but in a sure, solid, know-I-will-survive kinda way...I think. :)

Here are a few lessons I have learned over the past few months. They aren't in any specific order...just what comes to my head first

1. I'm still super grateful for the Visiting Teaching program of the Church. After sifting through my records to find out who still lives within our ward's boundaries and who doesn't, I have come up with a grand total of 230 women in my ward. 134 of those sisters are assigned a Visiting Teacher. That means 96 women do not have someone assigned to check in on them. How is that possible? 96 women is a lot and I need to find these women!

I know, I know, I can hear you, "You can't get to all of them." I believe that is not correct. If a shepherd had 230 sheep and lost track of 96 of them, you can bet he would search out every single one of them...every single one! Maybe some of them don't want to be found? Maybe. But I don't know which ones those are and I will not stand in front of the Lord one day and say, "I thought she might be one of the sisters who didn't want to be found so I didn't bother her." That's not happening. So, my counselors and my Visiting Teaching staff and I are in the process of developing a way to reach out to each sister. It is a big undertaking and I'm going to rely on the sisters in my ward a lot but the sisters in my ward are wonderful and I know they will have some great experiences serving the Lord by finding these lost sheep - who actually happen to be living, breathing people with hopes and dreams and who need our Savior so much.

2. If you want to cause your Relief Society president to be speechless, call her one morning and say, "What task can I do for you today?" or "Is there someone today who really needs a visit but you can't get to them? Let me go." or "I would like to be your assistant all day today. What's on your list?" Seriously, she'll be speechless. But then hang on, because she'll take you up on that offer (if she's smart.) What she'll have for you to do may not be too glamorous, but she'll be so grateful!!

3. This is kind of the same as #2, but a tad different...if you notice your Relief Society President (or a President of any organization or Bishop for that matter) is doing a lot of work in their calling and looks like they need a rest, DO NOT say, "You need to slow down. You can't do it all."

Let me tell you why...I am running all day long doing things for Relief Society and for my family but I am painfully aware that I'm not even close to doing it all. I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface. I'm doing my best, yes, but I'm not doing it all and I don't see how I can slow down. With the amount of texts, phone calls, requests, emails etc. that come to me daily, I'm usually just getting to the fires that need to be put out and yes, I am using my counselors and yes, I do have great women working in other areas and yes, I do call the Visiting Teachers to enlist their help and still, I feel like there are so many things not getting done. (My laundry is one of those things!)

A better thing to say would be, "What can I do to take one thing off of your plate today?" and then be willing to actually help her do that one thing. She will love you forever!!

4. Taking dinners into people is so wonderful and absolutely a great service and we sisters are super awesome at taking in meals to others. I know without a doubt that the sisters in my ward will jump and get to baking if I ask for someone to organize a meal and I am so grateful!!

Sometimes dinners are not what people need.

Sometimes people need you to sit with them and listen. Sometimes people need you to help them do their dishes or pick up their kids or take them to figure out why they aren't getting the right amount of food stamps (plan on 3 hours for that one) or help them find a bed or help them learn how to clean properly or hug and not judge them when they find out their child has just made a very sad decision or listen as they tell you their gut wrenching life story or help them find a lawyer or take them grocery shopping because they don't own a car or invite them over for dinner even though they smell like cigarette smoke or listen as they tell you that they aren't sure they have a testimony or love them even when you know they know they are making a wrong decision or take them to the ER or pray with them in the hospital or hold their babies so their arms can rest or text them an encouraging note or love them even if they are yelling at you because they need someone to yell at and you just happened to be there at that moment or not take their insults personally or take them to the Addiction Recovery meetings or encourage them to talk to the Bishop and repent or hold their hand while they are in the process of getting a divorce or give them a bath...do you get the picture?

There are easy ways to serve and there are ways to serve that require us to roll up our shirt sleeves and get into the mess. In these last days before Jesus comes again, things are going to get messy and we RELIEF Society women have some work to do and I know we can do it and I know when we really come to understand that we are on the Lord's errand and He has enlisted our help and He is with us every moment, we will not hesitate to do what needs to be done...okay, maybe sometiems we'll hesitate a bit but that is just because we are mustering the courage necessary and that's okay, as long as we get that courage mustard. (is that a word or a condiment?)

5. Which leads me to my last lesson for this post because I've got to get busy...we Mormon women are so private!! What I mean is, we are soooooooo afraid to let someone know that we have weaknesses and we're not picture perfect! It has to stop! Why are we afraid of letting someone know that we are not perfect? Hello? Mortality here! Imperfection is normal!

Do you know what I'm doing at this very moment at 8:30 in the morning? I'm in my pajamas, eating a bag of mini snickers while I'm sitting in my messy kitchen, not folding the mountain of laundry on my bed, I haven't read the scriptures yet or walked the dog, I have at least 239 other things I could/should be doing but I'm not, because this is on my mind so I'm doing this.

If my visiting teachers were to come over, I would apologize like crazy...for what? For being mortal and being like everyone else? Those ladies probably left a messy house and might have cried themselves to sleep last night because of some heartache and even if I told them that I cried myself to sleep last night because of a pain in my own heart, they probably wouldn't know what to do with that because they don't want to pry and push but we'll sit and smile and share a sweet little lesson and then they will be on their way. THAT MUST END!! If we sisters are going to help each other make it through these last days WE MUST BE OPEN AND HONEST AND AUTHENTIC with each other. I'm not saying we should be negative or pessimistic or just talk about the bad stuff. I'm saying that we can be real with one another BECAUSE...look at Who is in the background of that fabulous selfie I just courageously posted...


Yes, Him whose organization for women I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! We are all imperfect and we serve imperfectly and we are imperfect wives and mothers and daughters and friends and imperfect visiting teachers and I am, most definitely, an imperfect Relief Society President but, as Nephi wrote, "I know in whom I have trusted." (1 Nephi 4: I don't know the verse right now.)

This is one of my favorite pictures because I imagine that the woman standing there is me. I want to be that woman at that well. I want to have Jesus Christ all to myself for a few moments and just listen to Him and learn from Him and have Him listen to me and answer my questions. I want Him to ask me to serve Him because He knows I will do it. I want Him to know that I will do the hard work and seek out His lost sheep and follow His counsel and His example.

I want to give Him my life and my heart as this woman is giving Him some water. I know He will reach for me as I reach for Him.

See the two women behind Jesus Christ in this picture? I want to be the woman in green who is taking the blind woman to Jesus Christ to be healed. I want to help each of the sisters in my ward to go to Him and be healed...and I need to allow them to do the same for me.

Lesson #6 I LOVE being the Relief Society President right now because I LOVE feeling the Savior's love for the women in my ward. I love seeing them through His eyes. I LOVE watching them serve each other and grow and develop stronger testimonies of Him. I will admit that something about my calling makes me shed a few tears almost every day - tears of joy and gratitude but also tears of pain, sorrow, frustration and loneliness. But the Lord always reaches down and dries those tears with some tender mercy He has prepared just for me. I love Him.

I LOVE being in His service in this way at this time in my life and I will love whatever other ways He will need me in the future.

P.S. I love that my children are watching me do this and I try to involve them as much as possible. My 7-year-old son's legos had a "meeting" the other day. Wonder where he learned that?

To read my first confessions click on this link "Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President" 
or read what comes after this post:
Even More Confessions of a Relief Society President