Confessions of a newly RELEASED Relief Society President

I sat down at the end of the day on Sunday, April 24th and just let the events of the day wash over me. I was a little bit numb from it all, but knowing that I needed to ponder and pray and spend some time with the Lord. While I was sitting there, I received a text from someone in a tough situation who needed help. Immediately my stomach did that little twist thing it always does and then my mind started to work out a plan of action and then, as if someone immensely kind and loving whispered them to me directly, these words filled my mind, "You don't have to do that anymore. It is someone else's turn now."

A wave of relief, gratitude and peace filled my heart and I called the new Relief Society President - the sister who had been sustained and set apart earlier that day. I called her and handed it over to her with the promise of helping in any way. Then...I let it go. It was really in the Lord's hands and I knew He would take care of everything - He always does.

In October of 2013, I was called to be the ward Relief Society President. This last Sunday, April 24th, 2016, I was released from that calling. When I started I didn't have any idea how long my turn would be. This release feels right at this time. I trust the Lord and His plan.

Several people have asked how it feels to be released from such a heavy responsibility - sad? - relieving? - joyful?

I'm gonna say...

yes

...and I'm also going to add to those feelings, grateful, humbling and grateful, very, very grateful to have had this amazing experience.

I know I should say here that I felt so much joy as the Relief Society President - and I did. But I have to be honest...it was also hard...very hard. Every Relief Society President's experience is different. The needs I encountered were often very draining and confusing and overwhelming and unexpected and even painful at times and constant. That's just the truth. I'm not complaining and if you know me, you'll know that I'm a bit of a "Pollyanna" so, what I have written, is not meant to sound whiny, it is meant to be truthful. I know there are many women around the world who read what I write and I do not want to paint a picture that everything was centerpieces and casseroles. This is the work of Salvation we're involved in here - that's not an easy schmeasy thing.

Now, before you start lecturing me about how I probably didn't delegate or I took on too many projects, or I did too much...let me tell you that I have learned that we should never say that to a Relief Society President. Never. She is probably painfully aware of all that she is not getting done and the sisters she is never able to visit. Don't tell her she is doing too much - rather, ask her how you can help.

Let me tell you why...

You know what, I'm just going to write a list of lessons learned and I think that will cover it all. (I was not perfect at any of these items - that's why they were lessons. I could have still used a few thousand years to perfect them!)

1. Jesus Christ does it all. We think it is us and, to be fair, it is our feet and our hands and our thoughts and our time and energies that get the work done. But ALL of the energy, the thoughts, the motivation, the time, the love come because Jesus Christ loves us. This is all about us growing closer to Him while helping others grow closer to Him. This is His work and His glory. This is His job and His joy. He will not let His work fail and so He will not let you fail. He does it all. He does it all.

I love this specific picture of Jesus talking with the woman at the well. It reminded me always that maybe I felt like I was doing the work, but I always knew the Savior was watching and giving me the strength and inspiration to do that work.

2. All Jesus Christ expects from you is that you do your best. That's all. Just do your best. Yes, that means that there will be many things left undone. Yes, there will be those who do not understand that this is all that the Lord asks and so they will bring to your attention all that you are NOT doing - sometimes they won't be nice about it. You just have to let that go and concentrate on the Savior just asking that you do your best and He'll take care of the rest. Just focus on the Savior.

3. Always remember that everyone else is doing their best as well. You will wish that others were remembering that about you and so you must do that for others as well. This is a volunteer organization. We are not professionals. We are all learning and growing and making mistakes and we're all at different places each and every day in our discipleship. (Including yourself.)

4. Follow every prompting. Follow every prompting. Let me repeat...follow every prompting. No matter how small or inconvenient or even scary that prompting may be...follow it. It will take serious spiritual guts sometimes. You are on the Lord's errand. He will tell you what those errands are and you must follow. Miracles - big and small - will take place that way. Once again, some may not agree with what you are doing. They do not know the prompting you received and the reasons for that prompting. Do it anyway. Don't worry about what others will think. Just concentrate on the Savior. You serve Him.

5. Use your counselors and the visiting teachers. This is one area where a Relief Society President can get it wrong - trying to do it all by herself. That is IMPOSSIBLE! Let me repeat IMPOSSIBLE! Besides, you are not the only one who needs to grow. You are not the only one who can serve. Even Heavenly Father delegates. Follow His example and let/expect others to fulfill their callings and do their parts. Interestingly, enlisting the help of others will require a bit more work on your part. It is easier (at first) to just do things on your own and get them done in your own way and in your own time. If you choose to allow others to help, you will have to make more phone calls and do some training and do some groveling. But, once again, it is not all about you and your job is to help the women in your ward grow closer to Jesus Christ - let them do that by letting them do their part.

6. If you are a micro-manager, or a control-freak (I say that with love and kindness), #5 will be difficult. Your counselor who has stewardship over additional activities is entitled to inspiration within her stewardship. If her ideas are not the same as yours, that is OKAY. Did you read that? Say it with me...EVEN IF HER IDEAS ARE NOT THE SAME AS MINE, THAT IS OKAY! Different is not bad. Let her grow. The same goes for any other assignments within your presidency and board. Let them grow. As long as commandments are being kept, guidelines are being followed and you've been kept up to date about all decisions...let them do their thing in their own way.

7. This one is for those who are currently serving as a Relief Society President and those who are not: some of the "duties" of a Relief Society President are not truly her "duties" as outlined in the Church's Handbook of instructions. As an LDS culture, we have come to expect some things from a Relief Society President that are simply not her responsibilities and by so doing, we add unnecessary burdens on her shoulders. It is important for a President to know her duties and not get sucked into what others can and should do for themselves. It is just as important for those of us who are not Presidents to not expect more from her than we should.

8. This one is also important for those who are currently serving as a Relief Society President and important for those who are not, to know: As the Relief Society President, do not assume that your personal and family life will be free of trials and challenges. In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, satan may work extra hard on your family while you serve. he did mine. There were moments, days, weeks, months when I felt nearly unable to function properly because of the sadness, pain and anguish in my heart with regards to my personal challenges, while simultaneously responding to texts, emails and phone calls of others who were feeling the similar anguish in their own lives. The weight on my heart was very heavy at times.

9. It will be in your hardest moments when your own heart is in anguish, yet you find the strength to comfort others in their heartaches, that you will come to know Jesus Christ better than ever before. Somehow, in those defining moments, when, in the midst of your personal heartache, your heart can find compassion for others during their turmoil, the Savior will heal your turmoil. He will. He will look down on your heartache and He'll be so touched by your willingness to still help someone else and He'll help you and He'll heal you and you will feel so very, very close to Him. You'll discover that you are surviving your life's ordeals BECAUSE of your service and you'll decide you better never be released or else you might not survive. ;) That doesn't mean all of your trials will go away, it just means you'll realize how much you need the Savior and you'll reach for Him more and you'll understand His pain more and you'll realize that in His greatest anguish, He reached out to us to comfort us. You'll love Him more than ever. Read this BYU devotional talk by Elder Bednar "The Character of Christ" - you will be so glad you did!

10. Okay, enough of the hard...have FUN! Find ways to enjoy the women you serve and learn from them and get to know them. Add fun parts to your additional meetings. Laugh with your ladies. Include the younger sisters in fun ways. Shake things up a bit sometimes by going on "field trips" - such as having every woman in Relief Society on Father's Day go over to the Priesthood Quorums opening exercises to surprise them all with cinnamon rolls. (That was fun!) Don't just do the typical, nice, sit and listen lessons on Sundays. Try new things. Think out-of-the-box. Don't pressure yourself to be perfect - especially with decorations, handouts, activities, etc. Keep it simple so that the women in your ward will not feel pressured to do more than is necessary. SIMPLE is always better and happier. (You'll figure it out. Just have fun!)

11. Remember who it is you are serving - DAUGHTERS OF GOD. Remember who they are at all times so that when they forget you can remind them. Pray to see them how our Father sees them. You will LOVE those women so dearly and you will long to help them find joy in their lives. Remember what these royal daughters are capable of and tell them. Lift them higher. Fill their hearts with hope. Remind them of their divine DNA. Pray for an eternal perspective that will allow you to remain above some of the depression and darkness of the world so that your light will be bright enough to help others see the Savior.

Photo credit: http://www.sugardoodle.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2607

12. Expect miracles. You will watch miracles take place! You will be amazed at how people's lives can change and at how hearts can be touched and you will fall to your knees in gratitude.

13. DO NOT compare yourself to any other Relief Society President in any other ward, including those in your ward who have served before you. Do not allow yourself to think that you are worse than, or even better than the President before you or those serving in other wards near you. That is wrong and DANGEROUS! The Lord called YOU at this time to do what only YOU can do. Trust that and don't let satan convince you otherwise. Don't let others try to convince you either. There will be those who will tell you why you are worse than, or even better than, the last Relief Society President. Not even entertain their comments. Each President is different, with different talents, Heavenly assignments, trials, circumstances etc. We are all different and that is just how it should be.

14. If you are a wife and a mother, your most important callings are being a wife and a mother. Relief Society comes after those two callings. That is easier said than done. But when all is said and done, it will be your children you are held accountable for, not anyone else. If you have small children (like me) that simply means that many things will fall through the cracks and you will just have to learn to live with that. Heavenly Father knew your children would need to come first when He called you. He is finding ways to take care of the things that must be sacrificed.

15. Appreciate the Priesthood brethren in your ward and work alongside them with humility and gratitude. Remember who they are as well - sons of God - and remember that they are not perfect and they have families to take care of and jobs to do each day and they are just doing their best. Communicate with them. Work WITH them, not against them. I once heard Sister Julie Beck refer to the church as a row boat with the Priesthood Brethren having one ore and the Relief Society sisters having the other. If you are both rowing in opposite directions, your ward is just going to row around in circles. But when you work together, your ward will go forward.

16. Everything is going to be okay. This is the Lord's Work of Salvation. He will not let it fail. No matter what you do wrong or how you flub up or upset someone or overreact or forget something important or whatever it may be. You are not going to destroy the Lord's Kingdom with your weaknesses. People will not know most of what you do. That's okay. The Savior will. He'll be with you.

17. Be released graciously and humbly. This is not a competition. You are not being fired. You knew when you started that one day you would be released. It was your turn once and now it is time for someone else to have a turn. Be the new Relief Society President's biggest cheerleader! She'll need your support - remember? :)



There's more, but this will do for now. I'm most certainly not an expert. I was not perfect at any of these items - that's why they were lessons. I could have still used a few thousand years to perfect them! Yes, I copied this from above because it is very true!

When I was very first called to be the Relief Society President, I wrote a post entitled "Confessions of a newly called Relief Society President". That post generates viewers every day and email messages from Relief Society Presidents all over the place. It is a tough job - a job that requires help from Heaven every single moment.

The truth is, callings come and go. What we must remember is that we are Disciples of Jesus Christ who are willing to serve whenever and wherever He needs us - our homes being of the utmost importance to Him. Our callings are just opportunities for us to smooth out our rough edges and become more like Jesus Christ.

I LOVE being a member of the Lord's RELIEF Society in these last days before He comes again.  I get to be the Sunbeam teacher now. I've gone from a stewardship of 250 to a stewardship of 6. I love it and I'm grateful to serve and learn about the Savior in a different way and from a different set of His children.

I'm most excited to be able to spend some more time with my own children who wanted to stand up and cheer on Sunday when they heard that I was released. They are wonderful and they have gone on many a Relief Society adventure with me over the past few years - sometimes cheerfully, sometimes not. They are my greatest stewardship in this life and I love them very much.

A Note from a Relief Society President

Wowsers! it has been a long time since I posted something on this blog. My most popular posts in the last year or so continue to be about my experiences serving as a Relief Society President. It is a challenging calling, no doubt. Just when you think you've got it figured out, you get a curve ball sent your way and you have to start all over. I have been so busy with the calling and my kiddos and just plain life, that I haven't really had mush time to sit and post on this blog.

I had some strong thoughts this morning about Relief Society and I decided to post them on my ward's private Relief Society Facebook page. I feel that I should post them here. Maybe someone out there in blogger land needs these words today as well. Usually, I'm the one who needs them most.

Yesterday was the 173rd birthday of the Relief Society of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I had a chat with a dear friend from out of town yesterday about her feelings regarding Relief Society. She hasn't yet caught the vision and just sees it as tablecloths, casseroles and quilts and a bunch of women just sitting around doing crafts and that no one has any serious problems and no one is in her particular situation and that no one really wants her there. She thinks Relief Society is the hour in church on Sunday or the activity once a month or the woman who asks if your Visiting Teaching has been done. She feels that she doesn't fit in and she doesn't belong.

I remember the times when I felt that way. I remember, during the long difficult years waiting and longing for children to come to my family, going to Relief Society was not fun. It was very hard to sit through the lessons on motherhood and family and feel like any of it was for me. Rather, it just seemed to intensify satan's whisperings that I wasn't a worthy daughter of God. I know that sounds silly, but that is how powerful his whisperings were in my ears and I couldn't always get past them. I felt lost and alone and like I didn't belong there. I realize now that was all happening in my own head, and not what was really happening. There have been other reasons I haven't felt comfortable in Relief Society over the years - maybe I'll share those with you someday.

For now let me just share what I have felt the Lord help me see...Relief Society is a place for all of our Father's daughters, no matter what. There is no definition of what a Relief Society sister is, other than a daughter of God. If the truth be known, every single Relief Society sister has an ache in her heart and feels guilty about something, or insignificant or has times when she wants to stay away. That is called being mortal...and its okay. RELIEF Society is a place where our Savior wants us to find relief and He knows we'll need to find it over and over and over again at every stage of our life. He also knows that the more we discover that Relief Society is about Him, the more we will want to share it with others and the more good we will be able to do and the more relief for ourselves we will be able to feel as we participate.

Truly, we all belong. Sisters, the Relief Society is the largest and oldest organization for women in the world and it was organized by Jesus Christ Himself. If that is something you question or don't yet grasp, ask our Father in Heaven about it. He'll help you see as He helped me.

The day is drawing closer and closer to when Jesus Christ will return. That also means satan is going to work harder and harder to get us to not be ready for that day. he'll do that in any way that he can. As we stick together and help each other, we will be stronger. Every member of the Relief Society is different and will contribute in different ways and this is exactly how it is supposed to be. If you feel that you don't fit the mold of the ideal Relief Society sister, please know that the truth is THERE IS NO IDEAL RELIEF SOCIETY SISTER. The sooner we can let go of that belief, the sooner we can get on with doing what we were born to do and with what the Lord has asked us to do.

I LOVE being part of the Relief Society. I haven't always felt that way, but I do now and it has helped me have a greater sense of exactly who I am, the power I possess, the courage to use that power and Who is really in charge!

- "There are many sisters who are living in rags—spiritual rags. They are entitled to gorgeous robes, spiritual robes. … It is your privilege to go into homes and exchange robes for rags." —President Spencer W. Kimball (Daughters in My Kingdom, 117)

"Although the name may be of modern date, the institution is of ancient origin. We were told by our martyred prophet that the same organization existed in the church anciently." —Eliza R. Snow, Relief Society general president, 1866–87 (Daughters in My Kingdom, 1)

A pep talk for a Relief Society President - and anyone else who serves the Lord

I am someone who shares my testimony often. That doesn't mean it doesn't take a lot of courage and that I don't ever feel hesitant or second guess myself. Am I saying too much? Am I saying too little? Am I turning people away? Am I preachy? Am I scaring people, rather than inspiring them?

These are all questions I often hear in my mind. Do any of you ask yourselves the same questions?

I have lived long enough and experienced enough to know that I need to push through those questions and never let them stop me from doing what I feel is right. Yet, I still have moments when I need a pep talk.

One of those moments came this last Sunday.

I have written several times that I am currently serving as the Relief Society President in my ward. Within my stewardship, I am to care for and watch over all of the women ages 18 and older in our ward - about 230 women. Of course, I don't do this alone. There are many, many people who participate in this watch care. However, as the President, I often have women on my mind that no one else seems to worry about. Each week I make phone calls or visits to women who haven't been visited by anyone in a very long time or who don't feel like they fit in and/or who are afraid to come to church and join us,.

I share my testimony and love with these women and invite them to come to church. I do this often and every Sunday, before Sacrament meeting begins, you can find me waiting at the doors to the chapel, or even the doors to the building, looking for those who have promised to come. I want to greet them and help them feel welcome and glad they came.

They don't come. Sometimes they do. Most of the time they don't. I usually feel sadness at their absence but I can't let that drag me down, I have too many other reasons to be happy about all of the women who are there each Sunday.

But I care...sometimes I think I care too much. Is that possible?

That deep caring won't allow me to give up. I have a testimony that I am on the Lord's errand. I know He won't give up and so I can't. Jesus Christ has put into my heart a love for these women and I know how important and precious they are to Him. How can I give up when I know who these women really are...daughters of God?

This last Sunday was a particularly difficult day and my sadness overcame my optimism. I hate to admit it but I thought to myself, "Why? Why, Heavenly Father, why have you put into my heart a love for these sisters if it seems that they will never return? Aren't there more productive ways for me to spend my time and energy?" I will admit to some tears in Sacrament meeting.

But then in Sunday School, the Lord began to answer my question. I was asked to read this paragraph in our class and I choked up on the last two sentences, "The Apostle Paul was a great missionary sent to the Gentiles. After he was converted to the Church, he spent the remainder of his life preaching the gospel to them. At different times during his mission he was whipped, stoned, and imprisoned. Yet he continued to preach the gospel (see Acts 23:10–12; 26)." Gospel Principles Chapter 33

Then the teacher showed this video:

I will admit, once again, to more tears during this short movie - lots of tears.

In this divine answer to my questions, I was not told, "Don't give up." I was not told "Love others no matter what." I was told that I love the Savior. It was as if Jesus whispered to me that He knows I love Him and He knows my heart and that is why He asks me to do the hard things and that's all I need to remember.

It's all because of Him. That's why I go visit and share and encourage and love over and over and over again, often without any sign of progress. Because of Him. I love Him with all of my heart and the deep-in-my-heart reason why I do all that I do is because of my love for Him. If everything else was taken away, I would still want to be part of the Lord's work because it is simply that, the Lord's work and I want to be where He is, doing what He is doing.

I know I am not alone in that sentiment. I know there are many others in our world who feel exactly the same as I do.

And then the thoughts started pouring in...

My mind began to remember all of the verses of scripture that tell of how prophets or servants of God were discouraged, even shedding tears, because their assignments from the Lord were hard and often, no one seemed to listen or even care.

A desire began to burn in my heart. A desire to read the Book of Mormon again and search the Bible again for some very specific messages - messages from those who have felt exactly as I feel. If I were standing with Nephi or Isaiah or Moroni, if they were giving me a pep talk for my daily assignments, what would they say? 

I started that day with 1 Nephi chapter 1 - THE PERFECT PLACE TO START for someone who needs a pep talk from someone who knows how hard being involved in this work can be sometimes. I'm going to write about that one in my next post.

For now I want to say that I am a happy, cheerful, optimistic, hopeful person who also feels sadness and discouragement as I take part in the Work of Salvation. I know I'm not the only one. I'm normal and so is every one of you who has  felt those same feelings.

I'm going to write about the pep talks I am given as I study how those who lived thousands of years ago overcame their fears, insecurities and discouragements and served the Lord no matter what, even when it was hard, no, especially when it was hard.  They have much to teach me and I'm so excited to have them be my tutors in this work.

 I can't think of any better teachers than those who proved themselves to be the Savior's friends, for that is the title I want most of all...I want my dearest, truest, most loyal friend, Jesus Christ, to be able to look at me and call me "friend" as well.

Even More Confessions of a (no longer newly called) Relief Society President

I've written two posts on this blog since becoming the Relief Society President in my ward.

Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President

and

More Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President

Every so often I get curious and I check the stats of this blog and what I am shocked at each time is how many hits those two posts get, how often they are shared and what search questions lead readers to those posts. Search questions such as "Overwhelmed Relief Society President", "How do I be a good Relief Society President", "Helps for Relief Society Presidents", "New Relief Society President needs help"...the list goes on. Somehow typing those questions into a search bar leads them to these two posts on my blog.

I want to write more but here's the thing...I NEED THOSE SAME HELPS MYSELF!! How can I write a post of encouragement and support when I'm sitting in the same circle with all of those who need help from someone who knows?

So I want to ask some questions...

*Does the busyness of this calling sometimes come in waves? (Sometimes Tsunami waves?)

*Do you love it when you see the sisters in your ward supporting each other and loving each other and you think, "Oh this is wonderful!"

*Visiting Teaching? (I think I can leave that at just those two words and you'll get it.)

*Just when you think you have some situation under control, does it suddenly blow up again?

*Do your kids hate your phone? (Because you are always on the phone)

*Do you love sharing your testimony with the Sisters and feeling the love of our Father in Heaven flow through you to them?

*Are you sometimes amazed at the ideas the Holy Ghost gives to you and you know they aren't from you and you are so grateful?

*Are you amazed at how clueless you can be about what to do sometimes?

*Do you want to stand up and shout for joy when you see a sister who hasn't been to church in a very long time walk through the chapel doors?

*Do you go through weeks when you hear of sad situations in your ward every day and you can't help but just sit down and cry and plead with our Father in Heaven to bless those dear sisters and help you know how to help?

*Do you struggle to set appropriate boundaries?

*Do you call the temple to put names on the prayer roll more than you ever have before?

*Do you sometimes wonder what in the world the Lord was thinking when He called you?

*Have you been more aware of your weaknesses than ever before?

*Are you so grateful for good and talented counselors who have great ideas and you are glad they share those ideas?

*Do you want to depend more on your counselors but sometimes you just don't know how and they have busy lives and their own trials too?

*Do you sometimes feel like you are drowning in all of the varied and differing responsibilities that rest on your shoulders?

*Do you wish, with all of your heart, that you could respond to every distress call your heart detects but you just can't, so you turn to the visiting teachers and hope they do?

*Do you wonder how your Bishop is able to take care of a whole ward when you sometimes feel overwhelmed just taking care of the women?

*Are you so touched by how giving the women in your ward can be?

*Are you amazed at the many different talents the women in your ward have and you want to find a way to let them all use their talents and be more involved in each others lives?

*Are you also amazed at the talented women around you and know the ward is filled with smart, wise, spiritual women who would all do a wonderful job as the Relief Society President and you are humbled that at this time it is you?

*Do you absolutely love the time you get to spend with just your family and you see even more clearly now why it is so important to teach them the Gospel of Jesus Christ and love them and forgive them and remember that your most important calling is to be a wife and a mother?

*Do you find that you are more able to handle whatever may come if you read the scriptures every day, pray several times a day and keep yourself away from many of the world's distractions?

*Do you know that you will be a safe place for some women to vent their heartaches and frustrations and sometimes that includes taking out their frustrations on you and you needn't take it personally, just love them. (Although you don't need to allow yourself to be abused. That is an important boundary to set.)

*Do you know that you will never be everything to everyone and the mistakes you make will always be pointed out much more than the successes you have?

*Do you know you aren't perfect but you are doing your best and you realize that is all you can do and that is all the Lord expects of you and so you square your shoulders and keep moving forward?

*Do you need the Savior every moment of every day?

 *Do you know He is with you? Do you know He is giving you this opportunity at this time to help others but, even more so, because He knows how much you need this growing experience. When you look at that picture of Him, does it feel as if you are looking at your best friend, someone who knows you better than anyone else and still loves you? He keeps loving you and He keeps healing you and forgiving you and raising you higher. He keeps reminding you that He loves you so much, no matter what. Are you so very honored to be on His errand and in His service and part of His Relief Society?

This song seems to fit perfectly here:



* Do you just want to help the women of your ward to grow closer to Jesus Christ because you know you can't solve their problems or heal their hearts and homes? You know that only He can.

*Do you know that everything will be okay?

I hope you do...because it will.

This life is so short compared to our eternal existence. If we learn as much as we can right now, someday, off into the eternities, we will each look back at these experiences and know that our Father knew exactly what He was doing and we will be so grateful.

Right now it is our turn to be the Relief Society President in our individual wards. We have each had different callings before this one and we will each have different callings after this one. In actuality, the specific calling isn't as important to our Father in Heaven, as is the lessons we learn. Because within each calling and other learning experiences that are given to us are opportunities for our rough edges to be smoothed over and our impurities to be purged out and for us to become more like our wonderful elder brother Jesus.

Each calling and each opportunity we have is designed by a loving Father to lead us Home to Him. That is what it is all about - going Home and helping as many of our brothers and sisters as possible to get back there too.

What this is all about is LOVE.
Truly, that's what it is about.

What I'm trying to say with all of this is...we can be faithful, spiritual, righteous, loving and dedicated Relief Society Presidents AND still have hard days and struggles and make mistakes and feel inadequate and desperately need Jesus Christ in every moment! We are not alone. We have each other and we have the Creator of the Universe on our side. I welcome any and all comments - from those who are struggling and from those who are not. These issues are not reserved only for Relief Society Presidents - every calling and assignment has similar challenges - especially that greatest of all callings and assignments...parenthood!

I don't know who will read this but my prayer is that you will know you are wonderful and doing a fabulous job and the Lord knew exactly what He was doing when He called you!

Once again...everything is going to be OK!

More Confessions of a Kinda Newly Called Relief Society President

I was reading my post entitled "Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President" and WOW I was exhausted trying to sift through the craziness of that post! A lot of people have read that post and I'm wondering if you all had to take a nap afterwards?! But it was very authentic because that is how my brain was at that time - overwhelmed!

Now I'm 6 months into the calling and, well, I'm still overwhelmed but in a sure, solid, know-I-will-survive kinda way...I think. :)

Here are a few lessons I have learned over the past few months. They aren't in any specific order...just what comes to my head first

1. I'm still super grateful for the Visiting Teaching program of the Church. After sifting through my records to find out who still lives within our ward's boundaries and who doesn't, I have come up with a grand total of 230 women in my ward. 134 of those sisters are assigned a Visiting Teacher. That means 96 women do not have someone assigned to check in on them. How is that possible? 96 women is a lot and I need to find these women!

I know, I know, I can hear you, "You can't get to all of them." I believe that is not correct. If a shepherd had 230 sheep and lost track of 96 of them, you can bet he would search out every single one of them...every single one! Maybe some of them don't want to be found? Maybe. But I don't know which ones those are and I will not stand in front of the Lord one day and say, "I thought she might be one of the sisters who didn't want to be found so I didn't bother her." That's not happening. So, my counselors and my Visiting Teaching staff and I are in the process of developing a way to reach out to each sister. It is a big undertaking and I'm going to rely on the sisters in my ward a lot but the sisters in my ward are wonderful and I know they will have some great experiences serving the Lord by finding these lost sheep - who actually happen to be living, breathing people with hopes and dreams and who need our Savior so much.

2. If you want to cause your Relief Society president to be speechless, call her one morning and say, "What task can I do for you today?" or "Is there someone today who really needs a visit but you can't get to them? Let me go." or "I would like to be your assistant all day today. What's on your list?" Seriously, she'll be speechless. But then hang on, because she'll take you up on that offer (if she's smart.) What she'll have for you to do may not be too glamorous, but she'll be so grateful!!

3. This is kind of the same as #2, but a tad different...if you notice your Relief Society President (or a President of any organization or Bishop for that matter) is doing a lot of work in their calling and looks like they need a rest, DO NOT say, "You need to slow down. You can't do it all."

Let me tell you why...I am running all day long doing things for Relief Society and for my family but I am painfully aware that I'm not even close to doing it all. I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface. I'm doing my best, yes, but I'm not doing it all and I don't see how I can slow down. With the amount of texts, phone calls, requests, emails etc. that come to me daily, I'm usually just getting to the fires that need to be put out and yes, I am using my counselors and yes, I do have great women working in other areas and yes, I do call the Visiting Teachers to enlist their help and still, I feel like there are so many things not getting done. (My laundry is one of those things!)

A better thing to say would be, "What can I do to take one thing off of your plate today?" and then be willing to actually help her do that one thing. She will love you forever!!

4. Taking dinners into people is so wonderful and absolutely a great service and we sisters are super awesome at taking in meals to others. I know without a doubt that the sisters in my ward will jump and get to baking if I ask for someone to organize a meal and I am so grateful!!

Sometimes dinners are not what people need.

Sometimes people need you to sit with them and listen. Sometimes people need you to help them do their dishes or pick up their kids or take them to figure out why they aren't getting the right amount of food stamps (plan on 3 hours for that one) or help them find a bed or help them learn how to clean properly or hug and not judge them when they find out their child has just made a very sad decision or listen as they tell you their gut wrenching life story or help them find a lawyer or take them grocery shopping because they don't own a car or invite them over for dinner even though they smell like cigarette smoke or listen as they tell you that they aren't sure they have a testimony or love them even when you know they know they are making a wrong decision or take them to the ER or pray with them in the hospital or hold their babies so their arms can rest or text them an encouraging note or love them even if they are yelling at you because they need someone to yell at and you just happened to be there at that moment or not take their insults personally or take them to the Addiction Recovery meetings or encourage them to talk to the Bishop and repent or hold their hand while they are in the process of getting a divorce or give them a bath...do you get the picture?

There are easy ways to serve and there are ways to serve that require us to roll up our shirt sleeves and get into the mess. In these last days before Jesus comes again, things are going to get messy and we RELIEF Society women have some work to do and I know we can do it and I know when we really come to understand that we are on the Lord's errand and He has enlisted our help and He is with us every moment, we will not hesitate to do what needs to be done...okay, maybe sometiems we'll hesitate a bit but that is just because we are mustering the courage necessary and that's okay, as long as we get that courage mustard. (is that a word or a condiment?)

5. Which leads me to my last lesson for this post because I've got to get busy...we Mormon women are so private!! What I mean is, we are soooooooo afraid to let someone know that we have weaknesses and we're not picture perfect! It has to stop! Why are we afraid of letting someone know that we are not perfect? Hello? Mortality here! Imperfection is normal!

Do you know what I'm doing at this very moment at 8:30 in the morning? I'm in my pajamas, eating a bag of mini snickers while I'm sitting in my messy kitchen, not folding the mountain of laundry on my bed, I haven't read the scriptures yet or walked the dog, I have at least 239 other things I could/should be doing but I'm not, because this is on my mind so I'm doing this.

If my visiting teachers were to come over, I would apologize like crazy...for what? For being mortal and being like everyone else? Those ladies probably left a messy house and might have cried themselves to sleep last night because of some heartache and even if I told them that I cried myself to sleep last night because of a pain in my own heart, they probably wouldn't know what to do with that because they don't want to pry and push but we'll sit and smile and share a sweet little lesson and then they will be on their way. THAT MUST END!! If we sisters are going to help each other make it through these last days WE MUST BE OPEN AND HONEST AND AUTHENTIC with each other. I'm not saying we should be negative or pessimistic or just talk about the bad stuff. I'm saying that we can be real with one another BECAUSE...look at Who is in the background of that fabulous selfie I just courageously posted...


Yes, Him whose organization for women I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! We are all imperfect and we serve imperfectly and we are imperfect wives and mothers and daughters and friends and imperfect visiting teachers and I am, most definitely, an imperfect Relief Society President but, as Nephi wrote, "I know in whom I have trusted." (1 Nephi 4: I don't know the verse right now.)

This is one of my favorite pictures because I imagine that the woman standing there is me. I want to be that woman at that well. I want to have Jesus Christ all to myself for a few moments and just listen to Him and learn from Him and have Him listen to me and answer my questions. I want Him to ask me to serve Him because He knows I will do it. I want Him to know that I will do the hard work and seek out His lost sheep and follow His counsel and His example.

I want to give Him my life and my heart as this woman is giving Him some water. I know He will reach for me as I reach for Him.

See the two women behind Jesus Christ in this picture? I want to be the woman in green who is taking the blind woman to Jesus Christ to be healed. I want to help each of the sisters in my ward to go to Him and be healed...and I need to allow them to do the same for me.

Lesson #6 I LOVE being the Relief Society President right now because I LOVE feeling the Savior's love for the women in my ward. I love seeing them through His eyes. I LOVE watching them serve each other and grow and develop stronger testimonies of Him. I will admit that something about my calling makes me shed a few tears almost every day - tears of joy and gratitude but also tears of pain, sorrow, frustration and loneliness. But the Lord always reaches down and dries those tears with some tender mercy He has prepared just for me. I love Him.

I LOVE being in His service in this way at this time in my life and I will love whatever other ways He will need me in the future.

P.S. I love that my children are watching me do this and I try to involve them as much as possible. My 7-year-old son's legos had a "meeting" the other day. Wonder where he learned that?

To read my first confessions click on this link "Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President" 
or read what comes after this post:
Even More Confessions of a Relief Society President

Confessions of a Newly Called Relief Society President

A little over a month ago, I was called to be the ward Relief Society President.
It already feels like it has been a year!

 If you want the shortened version of this post, here it is:
1. I am tired
2. I simply can't do it all.
3. I am so grateful for Visiting Teachers
4. I am so grateful for wonderful counselors and secretaries.
5. I am so grateful for a good Bishop whose burden is even heavier than mine.
6. I hope I'm doing some good.
7. The Lord is with me every day - opening my eyes, opening my ears and opening my heart.
8. He magnifies my abilities.
9. I'm tired. (Oh, did I say that already?)
10. I know it will get a bit easier.
11. I've never been so grateful for Visiting Teachers. (Oh, I said that already too. Oh well, it is the truth!)
12. This is actually the Lord's work and I love being part of the Lord's RELIEF Society organization.

If you want more, keep reading...

First off, some of you who are not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints may not know what the Relief Society is. Well let me tell you...it is the Lord's organization for women and it is the largest and oldest women's organization in the world! It was reorganized over 170 years ago and has been building in strength and influence ever since. Every LDS congregation in the world has a Relief Society organization. You can read more about the Relief Society here: Introduction to Relief Society.

I LOVE being a part of the Relief Society but I haven't always.  It wasn't that I didn't like it, but I hadn't yet caught the vision of this great organization.

The Lord decided to teach me...

As I look back, it would seem that the Lord enrolled me in a "Catch the Vision of Relief Society" course. One part of my course work has involved being part of the local Relief Society leadership. This is not a paid position. It is not something one is elected to, or campaigns for. It is all volunteer work and much of it is not easy, or convenient or publicly noticed.

For the past 6 1/2 years I have served as a first counselor in a Relief Society Presidency - 2 years in a ward Relief Society Presidency and 4 1/2 years in a Stake Relief Society Presidency. It has been my absolute honor to be the first counselor to three different, yet equally amazing Presidents. Wow! They have taught me so much. They have listened to me and respected my input and loved me.

During this whole time I was so grateful to just be the counselor and not have to worry about being the President. As part of the Stake Relief Society Presidency, part of my job was to help train new presidents in how to do their job. I was always so grateful I wasn't that President I was training. I have been a Young Women's President before so I was happy to be a super supportive counselor and cheer on the Relief Society Presidents of the stake.

Then, one day, all of that changed.

Can I practice what I have been preaching?
Is it going to be anything like I have thought it would be?

The answer to that last question is "yes" it is what I thought it would be, but magnified ten fold.  It is harder than I thought it would be. It is more time consuming than I thought it would be. I am more tired than I thought I would be. There are more demands on me than I thought there would be. The weight of responsibility on my shoulders is heavier than I thought it would be.

On the flip side...it is more rewarding than I thought it would be. My time and talents are more magnified. My access to inspiration from the Holy Ghost is greater. The love I feel for the sisters in our ward is deeper . My ability to hear someone's situation and discern the needs of that person, is more refined. My patience with the demands is more abundant. My shoulders are stronger than I thought they would be - meaning, I sense the weight of responsibility, but I know I'm strong enough.

Now, I know this assignment doesn't need to be as demanding or time consuming as I make it. The Bishop told me that this can be as hard or as easy as I want it to be. I understand that and I understand that we shouldn't run faster than we have strength.

Here's the thing, I'm counting on the Lord making me stronger so I can run faster. :)

When I am handed a list of almost 250 women, many of whom I do not know, and told that I am to watch over and care for these women...how can I just do the "easy" parts? How can I watch over and care for women I've never met? When I know that these names on the list are so much more than just a name to our Father in Heaven, they are His daughters and He longs for them to return Home...How can I sit still and not take this seriously and not do the hard work? Our Savior doesn't take His work lightly, neither should I.

So, my personal mission right now is to meet these sisters and know something about each of them and I want them to know me well enough that they will know they can come to me.

What I really want is to invite all of these sisters to come unto Jesus Christ because I can't save these women. I can't heal their hearts and solve their problems and ease their burdens. That can only be done by one man, the man whose organization for women I'm honored to be a part of - Jesus Christ.

So I search out these women because I know that is what the Savior would do. Actually, I know that is what He IS doing and then He is leading me to them and helping me know what to do to help each individual sister.

I mentioned above that I am counting on the Lord to make me stronger so that I can run faster...He's doing it. I cannot deny that He is making me stronger and more capable.

Here is the other thing...I still can't get to everyone. I have two children and a husband who need to be more important to me than anyone else and, well, I'm mortal and I can't seek out and find all of these women over night.

I have NEVER been so grateful for the Lord's program of Visiting Teaching. When I hear of a Visiting Teacher who has done something to take care of the sister she has been assigned to watch over, I want to jump up and down for joy while simultaneously falling to my knees in gratitude.

I have also never been so grateful for good counselors who are willing to do their jobs, offer me counsel and insights and serve the Lord in the position He has given them at this time. I  know that "In Counselors There Is Safety".  I need them so much and I'm so grateful that they are there.

Even with all of the work of Visiting Teachers and the great support and work of my counselors and secretaries, I somehow feel a bit lonely. That is not a complaint or a victim stance. It just is.

I read an interview given by Sister Julie B. Beck, former Relief Society General President in which she stated,

“It’s never not been overwhelming,” she says. “I don’t think I’ve slept through a single night since I’ve had this calling. I can never take my head off and put it to rest somewhere and put on my resting head. I can never take these shoulders off and put them on a shelf somewhere and put on my resting shoulders. It’s always with me, but I’ve become more comfortable with how uncomfortable it is. The Atonement covers our ineffectiveness and insufficiencies, and it’s my whole dependence on the Lord that makes it possible for me to become more comfortable with the burden.”

She continues, “The calling is lonely—it just is. Having to worry about Heavenly Father’s daughters on His behalf is given to me. There’s nowhere for me to turn except to heaven most of the time.” (LDS Living Interview with General Relief Society President, Julie B. Beck.)

Sister Beck was given stewardship over millions of women around the world, I just have 250 to watch over in a little spot in the middle of the Arizona desert. But I echo her words, my dependence on the Lord makes it possible to do what He has asked me to do. There is nowhere for me to turn except to heaven most of the time, and I'm learning Heaven is ready and waiting to help. In fact, Heaven is usually already taking care of things before I even ask.

The fact is, serving the Lord is not always easy. It is not always convenient or pretty or acknowledged by others. Often it is smelly and messy and it will often break our hearts. But it is always worth it and the joys outweigh the hardships.  I think we can get to a point in our discipleship that serving the Lord just becomes who we are.

That's my goal.

I am a member of the Lord's RELIEF Society. Am I bringing relief to those around me - especially my family? Am I always on the Lord's errand offering relief to anywhere He sends me? Does He know He can count on me?

I hope so. I have so much room to grow but I really hope so.

So, actually, this work isn't too tiring or too hard or too lonely. It is the Work of Salvation. It is the Work of Love. It is the Lord's work. Right now, at this time of my life, the Lord has assigned me to be the ward Relief Society President. He will have another assignment for me after this one and so forth. I will trust Him and serve Him and invite every one of those 250 sisters in my stewardship to turn to Him.

 As for myself, I'm going to duck tape myself to the Lord and learn to love the journey!


To read more confessions, click on this link "More Confessions of a Kinda Newly Called Relief Society President" 
and
Even More Confessions of a Relief Society President

Every time I hear this song, sung by Hillary Weeks, I think it is a Relief Society President's theme song:

It is now May 2016 and I have just been released from this calling - my Bishop did a "clean sweep" of all auxiliary presidents in one day. Wow! It is such a mixture of relief and sadness. To read my thoughts and what I learned, go to "Confessions of a Newly RELEASED Relief Society President."