As I began to sing the hymn this last time I started to feel that way again but then the Spirit touched my understanding and the word "more" reminded me of this blog and how I have dedicated it to the Savior so that there can be "much more Him" in my life. I didn't feel overwhelmed with my imperfections. I felt hope and joy and, well, much more of Him in my heart.
More holiness give me, more strivings within.
More patience in suffering, more sorrow for sin.
More faith in my Savior, more sense of His care.
More joy in His service, more purpose in prayer.
More gratitude give me, more trust in the Lord.
More pride in His glory, more hope in His Word.
More tears for His sorrows, more pain at His grief.
More meekness in trial, more praise for relief.
More purity give me, more strength to overcome,
More freedom from earth-stains, more longings for home.
More fit for the kingdom, more used would I be,
More blessed and holy, more, Savior, like Thee.
Only when we rely on HIM can we be MORE.
"Yes, men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life."
So, what I'm discovering is that I used to pressure myself to be "more" and I would always feel discouraged because I would eventually fail in my attempts. But now I'm understanding that if I give myself to Jesus Christ, truly give myself to Him, He is the one who makes more out of me. I'm not the one who makes more out of me HE is the ONE. He does it because He is the only one who can. I'm starting, just starting, to feel that "more" inside of me and I gotta tell you, it feels good, really good and I want it to stay with me and I'm more and more (there's that word) willing to give up the parts of the world that I keep hanging onto that keep me from feeling it all of the time. I'm hoping that eventually I will be able to sincerely make a statement such as this one:
“I’m not ashamed to say that … I want to be good. And I’ve found in my life that it has been critically important [to establish this intention] between me and the Lord so that I knew that he knew which way I committed my agency. I went before Him and said, ‘I’m not neutral, and you can do with me what you want. If you need my vote, it’s there. I don’t care what you do with me, and you don’t have to take anything from me because I give it to you—everything, all I own, all I am—,’ and that makes the difference.” (Elder Boyd K. Packer, “To Those Who Teach in Troubled Times,” address delivered at seminary and institute conference, Summer 1970, Salt Lake City.)
My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak but I'm not giving up and I'm learning to let Him be in control so that my spirit's willingness will overpower the weakness of my flesh.